How to Know You Have Their Attention

Extreme close-up of a man

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The Rustle Up! – 07 – How to Know You Have Their Attention
Rustle & Spark

I have a quick bonus for you that builds on the video where we talked about how storytelling automatically triggers a release of cortisol—the chemical that focuses attention immediately. You can use that to make sure that in a job interview or any meeting, the person you’re speaking to is truly paying attention.

I had a powerful experience that illustrates this when I was teaching strengths and storytelling to a group of high school students in a program run by the governor to help promising young people from all walks of life intern with companies, get jobs, and move their careers forward.

It was a week-long program. They had classes, workshops, and lessons all day, and I had them for about an hour and a half right before lunch. They only had 20 minutes for lunch, and my session was running a little over. You can imagine the last five minutes: students sliding laptops into bags, zipping them quietly, eager to run to lunch.

So what did I do? I did what every grown-up does—“Hold on everyone, not so fast…” Did they pay attention? Of course not. They ignored me. I would, you would, anyone would.

But then, as I often do when I’m speaking, I slipped into a story. And the final point I wanted to make came out in story form. Suddenly, I said, “Wait a minute, everyone stop. Nobody move. Hold your body exactly as it is right now. I want you to notice something.”

In this room of high school students, I said, “Look at the young woman sitting in the front row. She’s sitting like this. And behind her, and behind her, and behind her—four young women in a row.” Then I started calling out that over 60% of the room had the exact same body position: the universal sign for “I’m completely paying attention right now.”

I said, “Do you see this?” They looked around, amazed. I asked, “Do you know why? Why that position?” If I showed you a picture of someone like that with no context, you’d know they were paying close attention.

Here’s why: when a story begins, that hit of cortisol makes us so attentive that our bodies conserve energy. Your head rests on your hand. Your mouth hangs open. You’re not even focused on holding it shut. That’s how powerful and automatic the cortisol response is when you hear a story.

I didn’t mean to do it with those students, but it happened—and I wanted to share it with you so you have confidence going forward. When you start telling a story, people will lock in instantly.

Why do stories make people focus?

How do I get people to pay attention to me?

How do I get people to really listen when I speak?

 
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